A new perspective

Friday 8th November 2013

perspective-different-perspective

I saw the new GP today. She was very thorough and asked me many questions. I have a really strong family history with breast cancer with my Mum being diagnosed at 39 and my sister at 49, both have had double mastectomies. My Mum passed away at 69 after 30 years with cancer.

My experience with most GP’s has been one of slight panic when they hear my family history, as the patient it is extremely calming.  However, she is wonderful, she listens to me, she does not visibly panic and is upfront with me which I appreciate.

I am desperate for some answers, I have been struggling with low to no energy, headaches, pain all over my body, feeling like life is just too hard, waking after 8 hours of sleep still feeling exhausted, and I’ve lost my zest for life. Surely, this is not normal?

The doctor says “look something is not right so let’s test everything and also let’s get baseline screening done as this is a fresh start”. I’m anxious but relieved, I have been heard but what if we find something yucky? She organises, blood tests, urine tests, ultrasounds and mammogram. I leave feeling heard and bewildered. I’ve gone from feeling like a whiner to thinking “crap I feel really unhealthy and something might really be wrong with me.”

The first test is on Monday 11 November 2013, the liver and abdomen ultrasound. Thank God they are all good!. Blood tests next and I need to wait for the results.

The next tests on the agenda are the ever-popular pelvic ultrasound and mammograms booked for Saturday the 16th November. I really don’t want these done but I agreed to this process so I will do it.

It’s weird I have had a few mammograms in my past and they are painful and unhelpful as I have been told I have very dense breast tissue, so the images have traditionally been really hard to read. Paired with an ultrasound it is easier to read but each plays a different role, in diagnosing any issues.

I have also put them off, as they are painful, feel useless and I was frightened of the outcomes so you know how you just put things off that little bit longer. Like hear me out, I’ve never had a reason to go and have a mammogram, other than family history. I’ve never felt a weird lump (my breasts always felt lumpy) and I’ve never had any changes, or any of the other symptoms of breast cancer. Just that gnawing possibility in my mind, what if?

Now I wait for the ultrasounds and mammogram day, a whole week to contemplate….

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